MY STORIES ARE MIGRATING

Yes, that’s right, I’m moving. To my new website: THE STORIES. There’s new chapters of The Gates of Heredon up there. And all will be added eventually. There’s room to comment – please, please do! I’d also like to add other people’s stories if anyone has something they want to share. Please pay a visit!

On the TV programmes that I love

Right, well. I’m rather incredibly bored right now, because I have absolutely nothing whatsoever to watch on the TV and nothing else to do with my life other than that.

It’s a pretty astounding and probably unprecedented occurence that I don’t have anything to watch on TV. Normally, I have a whole host of shows recording. Even if I’m up to date with everything current, then I’ve got Party of Five (which I recently became addicted to) or trusty old Angel ready and waiting. So I thought that since I have been neglecting this blog of late I would come and talk about them on here.

So Party of Five. An amazing show that began in 1995 and continued until 2001. It stars Matthew Fox of Lost and the least mean mean girl from Mean Girls when she was a very small girl, and a whole host of other people who I’ve not really heard much of in anything else but are all amazing actors. It’s about 5 siblings, ranging in age from 24 to less than 1, whose parents die, so the eldest brother – Matthew Fox – has to look after them all. Great show, and very addictive. (Zone Romantica – Sky 149 – at 1pm every week day, if anyone is interested.) But unfortunately, it has proved too addictive because I am now totally up to date with it and therefore don’t have anymore of it to watch until 1.15 today (I hate adverts). I’m also disappointed, because I will only be able to watch 7 more episodes before I leave for university. Won’t even reach the end of season 2!

I was inspired to watch this show for 3 reasons. Firstly, I heard of it because of loving Lost, which led of course to reading about Matthew Fox. (Though I hate Jack. I hate him with a passion. He should have been sucked down that hole and not poor old Juliet.) Secondly, I’ve not been in college since May and had just 4 exams in June, and that is very long time to have nothing to do. Since, alas, I do not have a job and could not get one for such short amounts of time, given I was away for a bit. And my friends don’t like to go out much. So what else is there to do but watch a hell of a lot of TV? And thirdly, I was given that final push by dear old Neighbours, which recently introduced three orphans who they pushed as being the “party of three”. And then I was flicking through the channels one day…

And then there’s Angel. Surely one of the greatest shows of all time. On every week day on Sci Fi UK. Five seasons, continuously looping. I think I’m on the third run through now. But no!! For some inexplicable reason, they have suddenly stopped showing it!! I recorded the middle-of-the-night broadcast, which I think was a few episodes behind the daytime one, so whilst I was just three episodes from the end of season 2, I think that for some reason Sci Fi have stopped airing them at the end of season 2. And when I check on the website, they’re apparently going to start airing them again from the first episode on Monday! Why?! I have just 1 weeks and 2 days left and I wanted to watch some Angel. Why must they do this to me?!?!

I did receive the first season on DVD for my birthday, which was wonderful and totally unexpected. But I don’t want to start from the beginning just now – I’m saving it. I want to watch the end of season 2 and the debut of the wonderful, crazy Fred!!

But no. Well, I shall trawl the internet shortly. And thinking of Angel season 1 has got me thinking of Glenn Quinn, who played Doyle in the first 9 episodes, and died from a drug overdose in 2002. I got his last film, RSVP, last Christmas but didn’t watch it till the other week, when I finally managed to persuade my family into watching it with me. They hated it, because it was pretty dull and boring. It was supposed to be a horror film, but no one got murdered till about an hour in and even then we saw none of the murdering! It picked up a bit in the last half hour and Glenn Quinn was amazing in it… He’s what kept me enjoying it whilst I don’t think my family much cared. I don’t blame them. And then at the end of this film, the two survivors lay on the roof, having just sent the murderer plummeting to his death and all their friends having just died, laughing and chatting and smoking! What?!

Okay, and now I want to talk about Dollhouse. Which is the greatest show of all time. But I’ve written a lot and I’m hungry for my lunch now. So I shall write at length about that some other time…

2 and 1/2 weeks to go…

University is just that far away. It feels almost surreal…

I’ve kind of abandoned this blog over the summer. But today I felt a random desire to post.

I haven’t really been doing much writing of late. In June, I went away to France with my family and I spent lots of time sitting on the beach, in cafes, or just at our caravan writing a real plan for my ‘biggest’ story, The Gates of Heredon. It’s 15 or more pages long and I haven’t done the ending yet. But I’m so very proud of that plan. I took with me just a few printed out sheets of plan, with random notes I had made, and worked from those. And I wrote it in a great detail and forced myself to make decisions about the plot that I kept holding off on, and wouldn’t let myself move onto another bit until I wrote my way there. Which is something I’m not good at. But I’m very proud of that plan now. I have great ideas for what to do, and I realised a lot about the story too (and about how stupid I was when I started it).

But I haven’t really written much since the plan. I have done some. And I wrote quite a bit on the train on the way to visit my family in Cornwall. But there was some guy sitting next to me, doing nothing, and I felt very uncomfortable thinking that he might be reading my screen!

To the main point of my post – 2 and a half weeks until university. I don’t feel at all ready to go at the same time as being desperate to just get there! I do not feel like a university person. I am so worried because I am not at all in to going out and drinking… and I know that not everybody is, but I think it will be harder to find those people. Though I have got to know a couple of great people over the internet, which is good.

I’ve been allocated to my third choice of halls, Roy Jenkins. And I have searched everywhere that I can think of for roommates, but to no avail. I cannot find a single person who will be in my halls! But seemingly thousands for all the others.

There are many things that I’m looking forward to about university. Finally being free from home is one of the biggest things. I love my parents and my sister, but it gets to be just too much, all day, every day… And there’s all the oppurtunities that university offers. Societies, sports, writing for the newspaper. The chance to get out. A whole new city to explore. A job, hopefully. And, even more hopefully, a new start for me. I always want to make new starts, but I don’t always take my chance. I just go on the same as always. I want to enjoy university, I want to get out places, I want to make friends. I really want to make friends. Good friends. Maybe I sound a little desperate… but it’s something I really want, a good group of close friends. I have two wonderful friends at college now, but we don’t exactly spill our deepest, darkest secrets to each other, and we don’t go out much. I had some lovely friends at high school, but we don’t see each other much now, and I was always just that bit too quiet and reserved… But university will be different, that is what I tell myself. I really hope so.

The End of an Era? And the time before a new one.

Today was my final A-Level exam. And now, no more college. Results come out 20th August. University starts about mid September.

I’m not so sure how I feel about leaving college. Am I bothered? When I left high school, it was horrible. I loved my school and it was so sad to leave it behind. College is different, though. I do love it, I’m very glad I chose it, and I’ve enjoyed my two years there. I like my teachers and I got along with my classmates. I made two very good friends, but apart from them I only know people in college contexts, really. To chat outside lessons, mostly about lessons. I’ll probably never see most of these people again, except for possibly on results day and presentation evening. But I don’t feel particularly sad about that. I think I will stay in touch with my two good friends, or hope so at least.

I’ve not had lessons at college for about a month now, so being without that doesn’t feel very different either. And anyway, it’s not like high school where you have lessons 5 hours a day, and you’re all all together for over 6 hours every day. You’re in and out, on you’re own a lot, spend chunks of the day at home anyway.

So I’m not much fussed about leaving it behind. I’m nervous about university – but that’s a whole other story. But there’s 3 whole months to go till then, and what I am going to do?

Everyone is all “whoo, college is over! Yes, freedom, let’s celebrate!” but I’m finding it kind of unsettling. Nothing that has to be done. No homework, no essays, no revision. There’s stuff I want to do – like write my stories, read up on Ancient Greece and Rome for university, read The Iliad, meet up with friends. But it’s not like I’m on a schedule, stuck to deadlines. It’s just three months of more or less completely open time. It’s kind of disarming.

But I’m sure I’ll get used to it.

New Stories Added

I’ve added two new short stories, part of a series for little kids called The Two Teddies With Clothes… You can click the link at the top or side of the page to learn but about it and to read!

Exam Time and the Long Summer

So I’ve now left college and am about to start my final exams. I only have 4 so it’s not so bad. The first one is on Thursday – it’s History. I’ve been to college today and yesterday for revision sessions. I’m reasonably confident about it… it’s my weakest paper though. I hate source stuff. But I think I’ve got the hang of it, so long as the question isn’t a freaky one!

My final exam is on 22nd June. I want them all to be over already – not because I hate exams and I’m dreading them (though that’s true too), but because it just feels like they should be over, like college is behind me now. I want it to be the summer, free to do as I please!

I am kind of worried about summer though. It will go on so long and, since I don’t have a job and my social life is, alas, very limited, I think I could get quite bored. So I want to try and do stuff. I’ve got into a mindset right now where I know everything that needs doing and I know when I’m going to do it. I’ve always been good with my mental timetable… So I’ve got things to fill my days right now (though admittedly my days should probably be filled with revision for the next couple of weeks…) but that stuff will run out soon enough. I’m going to France with my family on 27th June (well, we’re stopping in London on the way to the ferry – going to see Hairspray and Daniel Dae Kim – known to most, probably, as Jin from Lost, but also played Gavin on Angel, another favourite of mine -  in The King and I!) and return on 10th July, and I’m looking forward to that. We’re going to Brittany, home of the delicious savoury pancake… And I’m going away again from 5th August to the 19th to my Nana’s home in Cornwall with my sister and cousin, which is an annual tradition and always fun. (Though this year I’m worried… I don’t get on that well quite often now with my sister and cousin, and there’s all other stuff… but anyway, I’m not dwelling on it.)

But in between? I don’t know. I can’t get a job for just 3 weeks and 3 weeks again. There’s stuff I can do like tidying my room (a big job), preparing for university, reading books on my uni subject, updating photo albums – and, of course, writing my stories. But I want to be out somewhere, and I want to do something that’s worthwhile, something that doesn’t make the long summer feel like a waste of time. So I’ve decided to volunteer somewhere. I’ve applied to the National Trust for a number of positions. As a room guide in 3 different places near me, but it’s the other 2 I’ve applied for that I’m really interested.

I am interested in a career in archive management, which sounds boring, I know! But I think it’s my kind of thing. And there’s two oppurtunities and National Trust places near me to sort through in one place equipment and in another photographs and archive them. I’d love to do this for some time over the summer, to get a feel for archive management and whether it really is something I want to do.

So far I’ve only heard back from one of the room guide places. I’m hoping though…

After the Holidays

So the half term holiday is now coming to an end… I’ve actually had a pretty nice week, all in all. It’s been lovely and sunny (most of the time), which always makes things better. I’ve done 2 and half of the essays I was supposed to do… I’ll squash the others in somehow! I’ve also watched the first 4 seasons of Scrubs, which has been great fun…

So now it’s back to college on Monday – but only for one week. And then I have my 4 exams, and then it’s all over. The end of college seems to have crept up really quickly. It doesn’t feel like it’s the end. I’ve never loved my college like I loved my high school – it’s only  2 years after all. But still. I can’t quite seem to work up any feeling about it. After the coming month, I will most likely never see any of these people again (except for results day and certificates evening). It’s not like I have a whole load of great friends, and that’s the point really. Just a lot of people who I get along with and talk with every day in classes and such. But I’ll probably never see them again… I don’t know if I’m bothered about that. It seems weird… but I don’t think it’ll haunt me day and night. I have my two closer friends who I do hope I stay in touch with. I’m really going to try (it’s not my strong point).

I’ve recently started doing some writing for a website called The Perfect Blend. It’s an extensive, fan-created website for Neighbours (which for anyone who doesn’t know is a soap that began in 1985, which is filmed in Australia but is very popular in the UK – maybe less so these days…). I’ve watched Neighbours for as long as I can remember and I love it. The Perfect Blend is the greatest site for fans, I think, with every little bit of information you could ever imagine wanting to know about the programme. So anyway, I now write the episode synopses for Wednesdays and I’m updating some character biographies… It’s fun, I enjoy it.

Last Friday, the last day of college before the half term, I met up with a high school friend in the college cafe. He was one of my best friends, but he went to a different college to me. But then at the start of my second year he decided to start over and switched colleges. You’d think we’d have seen each other a bit, being at the same college. But no. So we finally arranged to meet up, and it was such fun. I really miss him and all my other high school friends… So I signed into MSN, which I haven’t used for ages, over the weekend, and got talking to another old high school friend. We were talking and I said that he had never written me a yearbook message, and he said he didn’t know if he could now because all he remembered of high school was bad stuff, like us falling out and not talking to him anymore. I think he was joking. I really hope he was. Well, I suppose he does remember that… but I hope that’s not all. I kind of laughed it off, and said we made up and stuff, and there were lots of good times… but I so hope that’s not all he thinks of our friendship in high school now. I remember him as being a mostly good, funny guy who was there for me and listened to me, and who I could tell stuff to when I couldn’t tell anyone else, and I remember – feeling, at least – that he could talk to me too. We did fall out (I mean, he could also be so annoying…) and there was a period where we didn’t talk to each other, but then we made up and were good friends again. Maybe not quite like before… but still friends. I wish we’d carried on like that. I wonder if I should tell him that’s what I remember… but I’m not a very emotion-revealing person and it’d probably just be weird…

Well, now I really have to go to and finish my Chartism essay…

The Half-Term “Holidays”

I broke up from college yesterday for the one week Whit supposed break. Really, this is the holiday where everyone in years 11 or 13 is cramming desperately for their GCSEs or A Levels. Or, supposedly.

My A Level exams start on the 11th June. I only have 4 – some people I know have up to 11!  I’m dreading every single exam – History where I can’t do source papers, Literature where we all know nothing, Lang 1 where I’ve failed dismally at this type of stuff before, and Lang 2 where I could do well but the question lottery could go way wrong for me and the time limit is dreadful.

I only need 3 Bs to get into my university. Hopefully, unless I totally crash and burn, I can manage this. I need to add up all my scores so far and see what I need. I’m pretty sure there’s a chance that if I don’t do well enough in these exams (and by that I mean a high B or more) I’ll just fall short of the B marker overall. But I hope not…

History is supposed to be my favourite subject. I do love it, but I hate this topic, and I hate source papers. I don’t know what the hell they want me to do. At least the time limit on this one is okay though.

Literature is just terrible. We have two teachers – one is crap and the other just doesn’t care. We have to answer one question about The Duchess of Malfi, a 17th century play, and then another question where we look at an unseen extract of some old text and compare it to The Duchess. None of us have a clue how to go about this. In mocks, we’re lucky if we write a page, and I don’t think anyone’s got higher than a C, and generally more like E. Our teachers aren’t helping – the crap one is lovely, but doesn’t have a clue, and the other one gets too carried away telling us about all literary type stuff that is great but just isn’t going to help us in the exam. And then he had us watching a film in our last lesson. A film. I mean, come on!

Language I love. I really enjoy it, which is weird because last year I hated it. I feel like I should be able to do well in the exams, but I’m so nervous about them. The first one is like the harder version of one we did last year, which I couldn’t do at all. First time, I got a C. When I re sat it, I got 6 marks more. I know they’re not bad marks, but for what I need, it needs to be better than that. The idea of the paper is easy enough, I just can’t seem to get it down the right way. Then the second paper is really two papers in one sitting. It’s the timing that’s my problem there, and that the question choice could be totally random and not go my way at all.

So over half term, I need to revise, revise, revise. Not watch Scrubs, write/read stories, wander round the internet. Maybe a mixture… I’ve got to do a Lit essay, 2 History essays, a Lang essay, do all sorts of revision for Lang, and I ought to do more essays than that anyway, for the practise.

I’m dreading it. This is no holiday! But I suppose one the exams are out the way I do have about 3 months of freedom… before, no doubt, an even heavier workload…

Well. I should probably go and get on with all this stuff instead of sitting here writing about it…

Editing and Updating

So I haven’t updated my stories on here in a while. With some, it’s because I haven’t got much further than what I’ve posted, they’re just starts of stories. The Stone of Infernum I’ve kind of paused on for now, because I want to do some proper reworking and working of The Gates of Heredon. So why I have I not updated The Gates of Heredon? Well, I doubt anyone is particularly wondering, but here it is anyway.

So we have our old computer in the spare room upstairs. I think I have mentioned it before. It’s this huge old hunk of white plastic that whirs and crackles and generally amazes me that it still actually works. It reminds me of times gone by… Anyway. So, I have lots of old stories on there from years ago. I’ve been intending for a very long time to reboot the thing and transfer the files to my laptop. And last week, I finally got around to turning it on. I sat up there for a very long time, reading through all my old files – school work from years 7 and 8, packing lists for going on holidays, presentations to persuade my parents to raise my pocket money to £5! And my stories. There was one I’d completely forgotten about, and another, The Digital Adventure, which is the first story I remember writing, unfinished. And kind of crappy. But I’m looking forward to reworking it, maybe into a short story… There was some other stuff too, but one thing I had totally forgotten all about…

My first story with Adam, Poppy and and Ryn (the main characters of The Gates of Heredon) before it became what it is now! There was a plan and even a first couple of chapters. I’d totally blanked it from my memory. It had a different idea to it, more information about the world and, ahem, “evil plan”, and the characters’ backgrounds were different. At some point, I decided to take these characters and do a differen story, but forgot about some of the main bits. This is very exciting to me, probably much less so for other people…

Anyway, I want to take this old plan and merge it with what the story is now, and make it much much better. There’s also other editing I want to do to The Gates of Heredon, making it much more… subtle in how it goes about things and introducing more, I don’t know, dimensions? to it. I haven’t actually transfered the old files to my laptop yet… So, I want to do all this before I post any more of it.

So there we go.

A Strange Thing

I think I’ve previously discussed talking, and being able to just go on and on and on when I’m writing, so that anyone reading is presented with a huge block of formiddable looking text… and how I’m trying to avoid that.

But a strange thing is, though I can talk and talk when I’m talking through writing, or even when talking to my closer friends, a heck of a lot of the time I say very, very little. Mostly with my family. I just don’t know what to say. My mind goes blank. I don’t like to talk about things around my family (I’m never one for talking all deep about feelings and stuff, in person anyway). I think I take the “How was your day?”, “Fine” scenario to the extreme… It’s not that I don’t want to talk or I’m trying to be rude, it’s just I find conversation a strange thing. What are you supposed to say, sometimes? Witty responses are never my thing. I struggle to think of something interesting to carry a conversation on. I’m a nod and smile kind of person. I listen, but don’t often speak. And I think people in my extended family get the impression that I’m being rude. I suppose it is rude though, isn’t it…? But I don’t mean to be. I just do not know what to say.

And my driving instructor. Oh, I hate driving. Hate, hate, hate it. But apparently it’s a “skill I have to learn.” In lessons, I just day dream away. I don’t have a clue. I can’t concentrate on just driving for a whole solid hour. In college lessons, I can day dream and listen at the same time. In a car, do that and I’ll crash. I hate it. But anyway. Besides the point. My instructor is one of those guys who continually repeats the same bad jokes. Which is okay. But how do I respond to them? A response is expected. I smile. On first hearing, I manage a laugh. Five times later, not so much. I’m struggling to think of an example. I repress them, I think… Okay, here’s one. We’re reversing around a left hand corner, and you have to go just a little ahead of the corner, stop, reverse, etc. So when saying how far ahead of the corner to go, driving man (as I call him), always says “you can go as far forward as you like, the examiner doesn’t mind watching you sweat”, and variation of and elaborations on. What do I say?! Often with driving man when he’s instructing me I just go “mmm”, “umhmm” and such… He probably hates our lessons as much as I do!

So anyway, strange thing. That I wish I could rectify. I’m working on it. But this is what I was pondering as I drove today… I mean, why is it we can do things in one situation, not another? And what is that stops me from forming responses?